Well it happened! I went MIA for the most perfect reason ever. At first it was mostly due to being incredibly uncomfortable and full term, but then…. Then I met a teeny tiny little man who completely invaded my entire life and wrecked me in the most beautiful way ever. I’ve been waiting for him my whole life and I have never known a love like this. It’s impossible to describe.
Crosby Dixon Brooks was born on his Estimated Due Date of August 6th, 2015 at 1:08pm. He was a chunky 8 pounds and 8 ounces and 21 inches long.
Labor and delivery was nothing like I had expected but it was even more amazing than I could have ever dreamed. Wednesday should have tipped me off that labor was soon, I had been uncomfortable, cramping (spotting!), and crabby all day long. To take my mind off things I decided to run some errands and get a few things done that I had been putting off for months. After a night with some family, home we went and off to bed, I felt off and sore everywhere. I had woken up around 12am Thursday morning with some cramping, to be extremely blunt and graphic, I thought I just had really bad gas pains until it dawned on me that they were coming in consistent waves and increasing in strength. So I decided to walk around and time a few of them. Around 2am I finally decided wake up my husband because they had become much more painful that I didn’t feel like I could manage them alone. After another hour or so my husband encouraged me to call the on call doc so we could figure out what the game plan could be. From the minute I started timing my contractions I was consistently 3-3 1/2 minutes apart. So we, well really my husband, packed up the remainder of our stuff and off we went!
Upon checking in (at 5am) I was incredibly discouraged to find that I was only 2.5 centimeters and 90% effaced. I thought for sure they would send me home. But the midwife decided to monitor me for a few hours. Around 730a I got in contact with our doula, Sarah, and I finally asked her to come join us. At this point the contractions were very strong and continued between 2-3.5 mins apart. Since we were managing well my hubs left for some coffee and food. Once he left that’s when I entered into really active labor. We had no idea where I was because we didn’t do many checks. Honestly I only remember having two checks total, but there may be one that I’m forgetting. Upon his return things kept progressing at a beautiful rate. It was hard, it was painful, but it was the most amazing process I’ve even been through. I was able to spend some time in the jetted tub and labor in several different positions around the room.
I’ll never forget the moment they wheeled in the infant station. I lost it. It’s like all of a sudden everything became incredibly real. Knowing that a baby was actually coming scared me and I definitely voiced my fears. It was amazing and scary and surreal. I think the most profound moment of the entire process was right before I started pushing. I was still in the tub and it hit me. As tears flowed from my face I exclaimed how I was told I wouldn’t have babies and how after all our losses we were finally having our miracle. It felt so amazing to be doing something that my body was created to do. It was the hardest work of my life and the most painful moments of my life, and we were finally bringing life into this world.
Spending a few moments of worship and praise with open hands during contractions, my husband is amazing! Singing was not the prettiest but I’ve never felt more connected to my husband and the Lord. It was beautiful.
The next time my doctor checked me I was 9.5 centimeters. The remainder of my cervix was caught and my midwife felt confident that as the pressure increased she could stretch it out of the way and I could begin pushing. I pushed for a total of 30 minutes, midway through pushing my water finally broke and a few short minutes later we were meeting our little man! As gross as it sounds, they presented me the opportunity to feel his head, I was pretty hesitant but finally felt. As weird as it was, and I declined further feeling, I wouldn’t pass it up again if we ever have more kiddos.
This was the most spiritual moment of our lives. We prayed, we cried, we sang worship songs, and we laughed! It was beautiful. But we did it!!! 13 full hours of labor, a crazy phase of transition, small bouts of crying, minor hyperventilation during some difficult contractions, 30 mins of pushing, we met Crosby Dixon at 1:08p! We did this 100% drug free. I had no form of medication for pain or progression. We used clary sage and frankincense essential oil, we diffused it and my doula and husband rubbed it on my back and hips.
I couldn’t have asked for a better support team. And I highly recommend a doula- ok I highly recommend Sarah Green – if you are attempting a drug free delivery. She was our anchor. She was a vital part to our story. When I felt too emotional connecting to my husband I was able to rely on her to gain my composure (I mean hello!! We made a baby and all our dreams and wishes were coming! I would cry when I made eye contact with Connor). She knew how to guide me, how to guide my husband! She was a vital part to our success!
I’m proud to share with you- our miracle, the little love that stole my heart-
Crosby Dixon Brooks